I found something that made me want to stay home and clean: lice.

Lice invaded my world and my mind.

Yes, lice, I can’t even type the word without mauling my scalp with my fingernails. Lice invaded my home and stayed for a few itchy days. I have never cleaned, washed and embraced homemaking before seeing a louse in my son’s hair. It was both disgusting and amazing. How, where, why? I was energized every time I located a nit or a bug. The joy I had with every removal was pure and unbridled.

I scoured the internet for each and every at-home remedy. I washed my hair with Listerine, slathered coconut oil all over my scalp and sprayed a blend or rosemary and tea tree oil all over my house.

Come to momma, you little louse.

I bagged clothes, toys and bedding and exiled them all to the backyard giddy with excitement over the lice being frozen to death. I whispered in my son’s ear in a sing-song voice “we’re going to kill those bugs in your head, don’t you worry”.

I lost my mind.

I had to end the week with enough vodka to silence the bugs I thought were in my hair and the ones that invaded my mind.