The American Music Awards were filled with artists to ridicule, dig and wish laryngitis on.
Let’s start with Rhode Island’s very own shining star, T. Swizzle. The girl can act, she can strut, she can emote, but she just can’t sing. It’s okay, neither could Madonna. And, Madonna never had those legs!
Taylor’s obviously hoping that Lorde’s coolness can seep into her pours if she ingratiates herself into Lorde’s family. That must be why we were forced to watch Taylor dance with Lorde’s mother. What? Was Lena Dunham busy? Mrs. Lorde, you are taking up valuable space. If I want to watch some old hag with bad hair dance, I will look at myself in the mirror.
Oh, and poor Selena Gomez. She can’t sing, but she talk-sings really well. Was that song about Justin Beiber breaking her little heart? Were people in the audience crying because her performance was so bad or because it was so funny?
Three is always a bad combination, a ménage a trois always end up getting awkward and I predict that Lorde will have a tedious time conversing with Selena over topics like eyeliner, Beliebers and nose jobs. Run, Lorde, and take Sia with you!